Wisconsin Dells Staple Launches a Ranch Milkshake
One of the most popular family resort chains in the country, with a bustling location in the Wisconsin Dells, is launching a limited-time, one-of-its-kind milkshake that is catching... a lot of attention online, we'll say.
The Great Wolf Lodge has launched a Ranch Milkshake, a "sweet and tangy" new addition available at all locations from March 5th - May 20th, per The Spokesman Review. As someone who doesn't like ranch at all (I know, revoke my Midwesterner card or whatever), this sounds absolutely appalling.
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What Does the Ranch Milkshake Include?:
On what planet does this thing sound appetizing? Even for those obsessed with ranch like some are obsessed with bacon and coffee. The shake is comprised of:
- Vanilla ice cream
- Ranch dressing
- Crispy Chicken (garnish)
- Carrots (garnish)
- Celery (garnish)
- Whipped cream
- Sweet, salty lime rim
Today (March 10th) is National Ranch Day, so the milkshake's debut coincides with the dressing's ultimate day-of-fame. Outside of today, where you can have the milkshake for $3.10, the regular listed price is $7.99.
The Ranch Milkshake Has Elicited a Fury of Reactions:
Of all people to chime on this glass of madness, R&B legend Dionne Warwick even threw win her two cents on Twitter, saying: "just in the kitchen wasting food." Talk to em, Dionne. I couldn't agree more.
Others have echoed my sentiment in saying something along the lines of how "wrong" this milkshake is, or how it would make them vomit. For instance, I'm someone who admires the beauty of a well-made Bloody Mary from apart, but my aversion to tomato juice makes me gag and nearly wretch if I sip one. The same goes for ranch. Not to mention, the ubiquity and manner in which ranch permeates the culture makes me roll my eyes.
Where Can You Find a Great Wolf Lodge Near You?:
There are dozens of Great Wolf Lodge locations across the United States, most notably (near us) in the Wisconsin Dells, and one in Gurnee, IL, north of Chicago.
- Anaheim, CA
- San Francisco/Manteca, CA
- Colorado Spring, CO
- Grand Mound, WA
- Scottsdale/Salt River, AZ
- Atlanta/La Grange, GA
- Charlotte/Concord, NC
- Dallas/Grapevine, TX
- Houston/Webster, TX
- Naples, FL
- Williamsburg, VA
- Baltimore/Perryville, MD
- Boston/Fitchburg, MA
- Mashantucket, CT
- Pocono Mountains, PA
- Chicago/Gurnee, IL
- Cincinnati/Mason, OH
- Kansas City, KS
- Minneapolis/Bloomington, MN
- Sandusky, OH
- Traverse City, MI
- Wisconsin Dells, WI
Read more about the Great Wolf Lodge launching a Ranch Milkshake on The Spokesman Review's website.
Ice Dinosaurs at Dubuque's National River Museum
Gallery Credit: Tom Drake