Woman Frustrated ‘Disrespectful’ Mother-in-Law Refuses to Call Her by Legal Name
A woman on Reddit is frustrated with her mother-in-law who refuses to address her by her legal name, all because she didn't take her husband's last name when they got married.
"I was in my late thirties when I married my husband in 2019. For a lot of reasons I always knew I would keep my surname regardless of whom I married and I would continue to use the title 'Ms.' as opposed to 'Mrs.' My husband knew this and was/is fine with it. It was and remains a nonissue with us," she wrote on Reddit.
"We eloped in NYC in a lovely private ceremony and afterwards sent out wedding announcements signed 'Husband’s First + Last Name and My First + Last (unchanged) Last Name.' Every card we have subsequently sent for holidays, birthdays, etc. have been affixed with a return address label with each of our full legal names," she continued.
The woman explained that while she and her mother-in-law aren't close, they have always been "cordial" with each other — until recently.
"Ever since my husband and I married every single card my MIL has sent to us has been addressed to 'Mr. and Mrs. Husband’s Full Legal Name.' That is not my legal or preferred name. I am not 'Mrs.' anyone and I am especially not 'Mrs. Husband’s Given and Legal First + Last Name,'" she wrote on the forum, adding her husband claimed that his mom just simply didn't know she never changed her last name.
"After receiving a Thanksgiving card from my MIL addressed once again to 'Mr. and Mrs. Husband’s Full Legal Name,' I texted her and politely informed her that I wasn’t sure if she knew I kept my given surname and joked that she is the only 'Mrs. Husband’s Last Name' that I know. Not only was her radio silence deafening but she didn’t call or text me or my husband for Thanksgiving as she usually does. She is clearly not happy with my gentle reminder and being very passive aggressive about it," she continued.
The woman's own mother advised her to choose her "battles" with her mother-in-law wisely, but she's very upset. "I feel that it is disrespectful and rude to disregard a person’s chosen name and call them whatever you want to call them," she concluded.
Users sided with the woman in the comments, with many suggesting her mother-in-law is purposefully trying to antagonize her.
"You know she's doing this to yank your chain. You are definitely providing the response she is looking for," one person wrote.
"MIL should be forced to think about picking her battles wisely too. But elderly people seem to get a pass about being a--holes for no reason to people they seem to believe they are dominant over," another chimed in.
"While you are technically Mrs. (it simply means you’re married, which you are), you aren’t Mrs. Husband’s Name. And regardless of technicality, you don’t like it. And frankly, that’s what matters. She’s being disrespectful," someone else commented.
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