*WARNING: HEAVY SARCASM. PROCEED WITH CAUTION*

Be careful before reading this information as what you are about to discover may leave you more disappointed in the state of Iowa than you've ever been before. To be fair, it's not just Iowa you'll be disappointed in, you can go ahead and add Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Illinois to the list also. Here's your last chance to turn around before there's no going back.

 

I'm not sure if we can even call boneless wings...wings? They're just adult chicken nuggets, right? How has Iowa let us down like this?

Cree Lighting
Cree Lighting
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Cree Lighting
Cree Lighting
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According to Cree Lighting, Iowa's favorite chicken wings are...BONELESS AND HONEY BBQ? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? Boneless wings shouldn't even be an option when taking a chicken wings survey! The ranch wasn't a big surprise, Iowans pretty much drink the stuff but I can't believe this.

We can settle the initial debate of bone-in vs boneless wings right off the bat. Bone-in is bar far superior. Leaving the bone in helps keep the meat juicier because of the bone marrow. That's just science. "Boneless wings" are just part of the chicken breast and become a spin-off of a breaded chicken nugget. The two shouldn't even be compared. Bone-in wings have all of the good stuff that adds to the flavor; the bone, the skin, the cartilage, and the meat.

The only time boneless wings are the way to go is if you're trying to not get your face, fingers, or clothes messy. If you're on a date and want to try and keep yourself clean, fine. Other than that, I can't find a single reason you would pick adult nuggets over wings.

Part me of understands the Honey BBQ as the favorite flavor but it's still disappointing. I understand in Iowa (the entire midwest) we spice our food with salt and we use pepper if we're really feeling dangerous. Nothing will beat a good buffalo sauce when it comes to wings. If you want to occasionally switch it up, be my guest. The go-to favorite for the entire world should always be buffalo sauce. You can add buffalo sauce to almost anything and it would taste good.

If you aren't a fan of spice, first off, toughen up. Second, I have some great news for you. You can 100% train yourself to like spicier foods, according to VOX, NY Times, and Serious Seats. It's time for Iowa to start enjoying chicken wings the way to universe intended. I hope to come back to this survey next year and find out that Iowa has turned a corner.

P.S. I couldn't care less how you enjoy your food and you should be able to eat your favorite foods how you want. Don't kill me. I don't need another Casey's chicken tenders fiasco. All I said was I liked them...

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